September 2025 Connection

Shortly after Stephanie and I were married, and before we had kids, we were invited to a friend’s church for a young adult “party.”  There was no illusions of it being the greatest party ever, but we were promised mocktails, rock-climbing walls, and good (not great) music.  Best of all, it was free!  When we arrived and found our friend, as well as others who had come, I noticed a distinct lack of mocktails and rock-climbing walls.  It was then that all of the young adults – only a couple dozen of us were guests – were funneled into a room where a worship service began, complete with a sermon, and an altar call (an invitation to give your life to Christ).  As the auditorium where the service was held let out, we were greeted by other young adults – presumably leaders – who wanted us to join their young adult group.

There were still no rock-climbing walls.

I remember leaving early with Stephanie with a distinct feeling of having been hoodwinked. Maybe something had happened with the mocktails and the rock-climbing walls that was entirely out of their control, and so they went with plan B – an altar call worship service.
But I suspect that the evening was never really about what was advertised.  It was about bringing us in.

Now, to be clear, I don’t suspect that their motives were sinister, and I definitely don’t think they were intentionally playing it fast and loose with my trust, but the result was, for me at least: I lost trust in that church.
 
It hurts my heart to say that.  The church, no matter where it is, is supposed to be a safe place where trust is kindled, relationships are nurtured, the Gospel is made real, and transformational ministry is the focus.  That church lost me.

I carry this experience with me, and I believe it really has impacted my ministry for the better.  It reminds me that the church, which so often assumes a degree of trust and respect of the world at large, still needs to earn trust and respect, perhaps more so now than ever before.  With no shortage of stories of sexual and other physical abuse, financial embezzlement and other misdeeds, shady ethics, hypocritical moral judgements, and so much more, it’s not hard to understand why there is broad mistrust of the church.  And while our immediate response might be, “but that’s not our church,” the cries and groans of all creation is “then prove it!”
 
The church needs to wrestle with the truth that we have lost the trust of so many, and for good reasons.  It is now the church’s sacred task to begin earning that trust back.  And the good news is that Grand Blanc UMC has been seeking to do just that!  But it’s not easy and it takes more time than many are willing to give it.  So, what does building trust look like:

• Actively being part of the community in which we serve for the sake of the community and not for our own growth.  This effort cannot be primarily about putting “butts in seats,” so to speak.  It must be about the values of a strong and supportive community. 
• Serving the community and our neighbors in ways that meaningfully add to the collective wellbeing.  This means being in active communication with the community to discover what its greatest needs are and then seeking to meet those needs.
• Seeing the people.  I have heard so many churches say, “we want more young people.” When asked “why?” the response usually resembles something of a longevity plan. “They’re going to keep the church going?” or “we’re not getting any younger.”  What I rarely hear is “because we really want to be in relationship with the younger generations.”  When the church sees others as a longevity plan – as numbers on a membership record – people notice, they feel hoodwinked, and they lose trust in the church.

And so, at GBUMC, we keep serving community meals, focusing on the relationships and trust that we’re building.  We keep showing up in the community, participating in all that we can, not so that our pews grow fuller, but so that the community can be strengthened.  We do our best to welcome and see people as people, and not as merely numbers on a report.
Are we perfect at this?  Have we cracked the code?  No.  But I truly do believe that building trust starts here.

And the remarkable thing is this: Churches in the 21st century who seek to build and earn trust are growing stronger, more effective, and healthier.  And so are we!

Trust me!

Pastor Brian